I wanna bring you to show and tell
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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