Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
