eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize