you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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