Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
