ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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