He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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