the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize