Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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