so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Then you guys just all showered together...?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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