I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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