On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
