Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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