This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
