oh god the rape fog is back!
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
