Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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