I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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