gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
