whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
