I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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