Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
