She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
