like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
