Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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