I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
