i think i have herpe
just one?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
