Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
