Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
