Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
