I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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