I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
