Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
