I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
