woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I wear drunk well.
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