Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
