Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
