Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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