i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
