I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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