We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
