So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
