$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Randomize
