alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
