Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
