Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
