Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
