____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
