you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
is wine microwaveable?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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