I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
