I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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