I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He shit in the fireplace
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
