First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
