i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
