I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
