uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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