the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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