I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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