dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
