I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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