I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize