Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
