I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
