Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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