We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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