I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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