buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
