I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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