So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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