i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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