She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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