Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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