Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
