you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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