handjob tips. give me some.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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