it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
