and i looked up. we had an audience...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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