Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
