Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
