i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
