Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
