Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
